Two and a half years have passed since we began our journey with dementia and caregiving.
Sometimes I forget.
Sometimes I forget the shock! I forget how frightening it was to watch my mother hide from me, convinced I was trying to poison her, steal her money or drown her in the bath tub. I forget feeling angry and tired and not liking this strange, paranoid and aggressive woman who had taken over my kind and gentle mother’s body. I forget how guilty I felt and torn between everyone’s conflicting expectations. I forget how uninformed I was and how powerless I felt to find that information. The more Mom settles into her life in her long- term care home, the farther (thankfully) those memories live from my daily thoughts.
But then, I meet someone (maybe like you) that is in that horrible “In the beginning” stage of your journey and I remember. Recently, I visited a family like this and was amazed that everyone had the same look in their eyes – that shocked look of someone experiencing a deep trauma – and I remember where I’ve seen that look before: in my own mirror.
The good news is there really is help. There might not be a miracle cure, but there are answers and there is support. Even as things get worse – things can get better too.
Take some time and stroll through the pages on this site. I am not selling anything. Unfortunately, the health care world is a maze, but there are answers and there really are wonderful people out there who want to help. So, when one door gets shut, don’t be discouraged, keeping knocking and searching.
Read the steps in these pages and posts to find answers, visit the links – all of which have good easy to read information. Contact your local Alzheimer Society. They will offer you books, information, conversation and support. You don’t have to wait to know what the problem is to reach out for their support and counsel. They won’t judge you or think you are over reacting and they won’t charge you any money.
It is my opinion, that this in the beginning is the worst stage of caregiving. There will be better days coming.
You are NOT alone.