Some days, I can forget about the loss, beat back the longing to curl up beside my mommy and be the daughter and not the parent. Some days, when we visit we can just plain connect. One human to another.
Yesterday was one of those visits. I arrived at the Long Term Care home to find Mom awake and alert. Since much of her conversational skills are gone, talking about any one topic for more than a sentence at a time is difficult. But yesterday, there was a book.
The book on the table was three stories merged into one book with a scattering of drawings throughout. First it was pictures of lions and jungle animals, second of historical black and white photos of the Rockefeller family and finally drawings of people riding horses and carriages. Since reading the book wasn't a practical option, we started making up our own stories - silly stories at that.
In that moment, I was able to find her, connect with her. It was nice.
There are days, just like you, that I really wish this long journey could be over. I wish that Mom could be freed from this body bogged down by this horrible disease. But yesterday, I was grateful." No Mom, you can't remember your grandchildren, what you had for lunch or very much about me, we still can share the love of two people who share a beautiful history together.
Even if one of them doesn't remember it.