A Christmas Healing | Blog | My Mothers' Caregiver
An elder care roadmap & observations from the journey
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A Christmas Healing

Four years ago yesterday, I drove my confused, frightened and delirious mother to our local emergency hoping to for a simple cure for her strange behaviours and the sudden change in her personality. Mom never came back home to live with us again. As you know if you’ve read our story after a very rocky road, she settled into a wonderful long term care home in our town.

No other time of year do I feel the pain of this experience greater than at Christmas. It isn’t only that we lost the wholeness of my mother, her support, stories and presence, but also, we lost our foundation. The family home was sold, traditions were lost, memories could no longer be shared – in many ways I felt like Christmas as I had known it was lost too.

For four years, I have found Christmas a sad time – a time when the loss of my mom’s wholeness and the loss of other loved ones like my father and in-laws was so strong it made my heart ache. Putting up the Christmas tree was something that brought tears to my eyes. Buying Christmas presents and preparing for the family meal felt more like a chore than a joy.

But this year, I noticed the healing is happening. There is a little warmth and hope returning. It isn’t everything I want for Mom, but I can enjoy taking part in the parties at her long term care home without wishing and regretting she could be home with us. New traditions have replaced old ones, babies have been born – nieces and nephews and best of all a new grandbaby for me.

I guess my mom herself likely walked this journey when her own parents and loved ones passed on and she became the mother and not the daughter. She knew what I know today – that life goes on and even with all the changes there is still beauty to be discovered even in the pain.

Wherever you are in your journey, whether you are surrounded by the grief and loss, enjoying the moments or just beginning to see the light again, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!



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